How to beat depression (Part 2)

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, its about dancing in the rain! John Dare


Depression is one of those things that happens even to the best of us. Sometimes it is so hot, my dog gets depressed and treats me as if I am the one making the sun roast us for tonight’s dinner. Being human, we tend to “have” many reasons why we get depressed and shut out the world, because they could not possibly understand what you are going through right? Well your wrong. Studies show that 99.9999 percent of people will experience some type of depression in their life time whether it is from losing a job, a relationship gone wrong, the kids not doing so well in school, it is 109 degrees in your city, you get the point. IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN at one point or another.

Do we have any sports fans out there (Heats fan here)? Have you ever wondered how the team members year after year stay mentally prepared to perform at their peaks quarter after quarter? Well it is because they have conditioned not only their minds, but also their bodies to be able to perform at such peak levels. The definition of condition is the state of something, especially with regard to its appearance, quality, or working order. It is the circumstances affecting the way in which people live or work, especially with regard to their safety or well-being. Your bringing (something) into the desired state for use. So what is my point to all of this? Depression is something that is learned, and conditioned in your mind that you bring about from your own emotions. We as emotional beings tend to point fingers and say “well I am this way because of so and so”, or ” I would have did this differently if it was not for,” or” he/she made me like this because the way they treated me”, when in reality, you are the person behind every emotion you create, whether bad or good. Once you get control of your emotions, you start to experience what life is really about and loving in the small and simply things.

So let me ask you a question! Have you ever tried to be happy and depressed at the same time? No really, have you? Try this for a second. put the biggest smile that you can make on your face, ear to ear, now try to have negative feelings or actions while you are smiling! Didn’t work did it. Now change those facial expressions to a frown and tell me how you feel now. Back to playing the victim right? So this lets me know that I cannot be depressed without changing my facial gestures, motions, and body movements. The mind is created to react on the way you physically move and gesture, just as well as the thoughts guiding your actions. So emotions are created by motions. When someone gets under your skin and really pisses you off, your whole body language and expressions change according to their motions. Well I have a solution that will suit anyone at anytime when an emotional change is needed right away. Simply change the emotions that you connect to being upset and depressed. When someone upsets you, immediately change pattern by doing something out the ordinary. Start yelling out random words, APPLE, ORANGE, OPRAH, TIRES, ICE CREAM, MOMMY, I LOVE YOU! And watch how just like that your mood will instantly change. Also get yourself moving, stand up, look up at the ceiling with the biggest grind on your face and just laugh, and be silly! Start clapping your hands, getting the blood flowing, while still smiling a big smile! Take a few deep breaths, fast or slow, which ever you prefer, and instantly change the subject to something more proactive.







How to beat depression

That little voice inside your head is nothing more than a self motivator, if you let it be. John Dare

Depression affects just about everyone on some level. For some, depression is purely situational. For others, it becomes a chemical problem in need of greater attention. Regardless of the kind of depression you face right now, though, there are a few things you can do to beat an instance of depression once it comes upon you. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

1. Get out of bed. No matter how light or heavy your depressive episode is, the first thing you need to do is get out of bed in the morning. Without taking that first step, nothing more can be accomplished and your depression will only linger.

  • If your depression is severe or chronic, getting out of bed and preparing for the day can also be viewed as a small but necessary victory on the road to recovery.

2. Soak in a little sunlight. Natural light has a positive effect on mood. Even 30 minutes outdoors is better than nothing.

  • One major cause of seasonal depression is the lack of sunlight and the lack of outdoor activity
  • Vitamin D helps stabilize the mood, but it is absorbed better through food and sunlight than through supplements

3. Exercise. There appears to be some link between stationary lifestyles and depression. Break up the monotony of your daily routine by squeezing in at least 30 to 60 minutes of exercise each day.

  • The exercise does not have to be intense. Even a 30 minute walk outside can help improve your mood.

4. Avoid skipping meals. Your body and mind both need nutrients to keep working properly. If your mind is not nourished, the hormones and chemicals pumping through it may be thrown out of balance and, as a result, you depression may last longer or get more severe.

Eat healthy meals packed with plenty of balanced nutrients in order to give your body and mind what they need.

  • That said, it does not hurt to treat yourself a bit during a bout of depression as long as you do not overindulge. The cacao in dark chocolate can even be helpful since it causes your brain to release endorphins. Overindulging can lead to physical health problems and a drop in self-esteem.

Resist the urge to drown your sorrows. Do not indulge in alcohol or drug use during your depression. Consider packing your diet with foods linked to fighting depression. These foods include fish oils, brown rice, brewer’s yeast, whole-grain oats, and cabbage.

5. Rest. Even though you need to get out of bed in the morning, you also need to get back in at night.

  • A lack of rest can stress your body and mind, making depression worse.
  • Aim for 8 hours of sleep per night, especially during periods of depression.
 To find out more about beating depression, email me for an information session at

The power of focus and concentration

I thought this One was much needed as a reblog!

Campaign Be heard

You do not have to have all the answers, just move forward with positive, affirmative action, and you will see results.  John Dare

I feel like I have already gained a personal connection with my readers and I get really anxious when I think about what information I will share next. I tend to juggle a few task on a daily but would like to put more effort into producing more post because I have so much knowledge to share!

The topic that reached out to me as I woke up this morning was the power of focus and concentration. Lately, my ability to delegate task ranging from greatest importance to least importance has become harder to me because I feel like everything needs to get done! I have learned that doing this actually slows down the number of task that you complete as a whole and you tend to even get…

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The power of focus and concentration

You do not have to have all the answers, just move forward with positive, affirmative action, and you will see results.  John Dare

I feel like I have already gained a personal connection with my readers and I get really anxious when I think about what information I will share next. I tend to juggle a few task on a daily but would like to put more effort into producing more post because I have so much knowledge to share!

The topic that reached out to me as I woke up this morning was the power of focus and concentration. Lately, my ability to delegate task ranging from greatest importance to least importance has become harder to me because I feel like everything needs to get done! I have learned that doing this actually slows down the number of task that you complete as a whole and you tend to even get burned out, resulting in old habits of procrastination and laziness. Lets go ahead and do this exercise so we can get all of the negative thoughts out of our heads:


I am a single parent home and I have many kids to take care of

I am a full time student and my classes take to much of my time

I do not have the money right now

No one believes in me

The do not have any marketable skills or services to offer

I just do not have the time right now


Now that we got that out the way, lets talk about some reasons why WE MUST stop, plan, and then take action right away. If you are like I was in the past (3 days ago) then it is almost impossible to focus on an ultimate goal when their is no strategy behind your passion. On a daily, we have an estimated  70,000 thoughts. “70,000”. I have trouble sometimes when my psychology instructor gives an assignment that I have to produce  1200 words. How is it possible that I can have this many thoughts on a daily basis and further more,  what in the heck have I been thinking about. You can find the answer by simply doing one thing, look around you. Every circumstance, event, person, and thing that you encounter daily is because of the thoughts that you create. Is that a powerful statement or what? Now think about this for a moment; through the power of focus and concentration, not only can you learn to control every thought and direct it to what you want in life, but you can also start to change and create the circumstances that are around you. All this and more is possible through discipline of the mind, and structured task that gets you from one stage to the next smoothly. Lets back up back to this 70,oooo thoughts per day scenario. So what exactly are we thinking about and why. How does it make you feel when you think about these things and does it align with what ultimate goals you have for yourself. The first thing I want you to do is make a list of the things that you are thinking about and be honest with yourself. Try it for a couple of days and then see what changes can be made in your thinking process.  In the mean time, here are a few action statements that can help you to change the pattern of your subconscious mind (we will talk more about the subconscious in future post AWESOME SUBJECT) and get you focused right away.

1. I possess the ability to concentrate on one thing at a time! ( repeat 12 times)

2. I possess a positive mental attitude! (12)

3. My right now is right, and my future is bright! (12)

4. I embrace success. The words “I can’t” are not in my vocabulary. I refuse to believe my own excuses. I am unstoppable! (12)

5.I don’t have to wait until I feel “ready” to take action on my goals. The timing will never be perfect. I am ready now.

6. I am making space for more success to come into my life. I let go of my excuses. I am productive & focused on results! (12)

7. I am committed to the possibility of my own success. I take action on my goals now so I can have the lifestyle I want(12)

8. I can achieve whatever I want. I can have what I desire. Everything is possible. (12)

9. I accept responsibility for my own happiness. I don’t need anyone or anything to complete me because I am already complete.

10. I am willing to forgive. Forgiving myself and others releases me from the pain of the past. I forgive and I am free.

Now take four breaths in through your nose! And release four times through your mouth.

Now doesn’t that feel good. Now we are ready to focus “clearly” on whatever task we have for the day. Remember that to move forward in positive action, you must, well move! Get up in the morning with a positive attitude and if you are not a morning person like myself, give yourself these action words to get motivated “DO IT NOW”! Keep you are pair of sneakers near the bed, get up and but them on after saying “DO IT NOW” with affirmative positive energy, and take a walk around the block or walk the dog to get your blood going. I assure you it is a great way to start the day and strengthen your ability to focus and concentration.

Go try it! In the meantime, check out these great e-books at

Who do I turn too (Poem)

Quote of the day: if its to be, its up to me. John Dare.

Who do you turn too when you have burned every bridge,

Sharks in the water waiting to get their bloody revenge.

No life jacket, just a life that has been like jacking a man for everything he can stand

Two broken legs is what he get in the end

And ultimately, you was suppose to be my crutch, the one I leaned on and cared for so much

Now your a stranger too me, the epitome of the people you see on T.V.

Except there life’s make more sense, the drama they start is scripted and less intense

Who do I turn too when I have told you every thang, then you use it against me just to slander my name

I turn to me cause I am the best choice, no more of my secrets you will ever know but you will hear my voice.

I choose me!



Dealing with addiction

Sometimes its what you cant control that runs your life. John Dare

As serious as I want to be in this post, I also find some humor out of the content I am about to speak on because it is happening so rapidly. When you think about the word addiction, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Drugs, alcohol, sex, porn, and gambling right? Ill get to those later! You also have addictions such as stealing and telling compulsive lies which may bring about such pleasures as the other addictions named above. Before we get to these topics, I want to talk about modern day addictions that does not deal with toxins or criminal mischief. This has affected way more addicts than all of the topics named above and that addiction is Social Media.

Since the launch of Facebook in 2006, the number of active members have reached 1.1 Billion as of January 2014. On average, people spend two to fifteen hours a day on Facebook; You do the math of how much time that equates to daily for one billion users. Facebook has found a unique way through a technology interface to incapacitate the drive of people by offering a virtual world where they can reach thousands of people and influence them in what ever way they are feeling at the time. Now why would this be qualified as an addiction? Think about it for a second. From a personal aspect, what kind of affects do addictions have on people? For one, it takes up valuable time from what ever goals and objectives you are trying to accomplish at the moment. It most likely is costing you more money than it is making you, like the old saying says, “time IS money. Which raises the question. How does Facebook make so much money from its everyday users? They secretly take your information, based off of your post  and sell it to marketers who then stamp advertisements on your page which offers products to keep you hooked or sell you a product. Since the successful launch of Facebook, hundreds of social media networks have sprung up in efforts to create mass audiences to compete with Facebook’s fan base. Social media has become the modern day addiction that will continue to grow and become its own language.

Pretty funny right! 


Lets talk about some not so funny addictions…

I graduated high school in 2003 and over the course of years, I have seen people my age dying from drug overdose and sexually transmitted diseases. I have seen people who were once on top of “their” own world now walking the streets and selling their bodies just to make a living. I have played my part in providing a space for them to do the drugs and prostitution because I was most likely on some type of drug myself. My drug of choice was ecstasy, alcohol, and marijuana but I never let the drugs control me. I often took it in small doses when I participated and I promised myself if it got to the point where I was doing the things I seen being done, I would stop completely right away, And I did. The problem comes when you do decide to stop, but you are still in that same environment whether it is the neighborhood you live in, the friends you have made in this life style, or the ones you already have had for a period of time and they have so much to say about your life change. 

The truth of it all is, in order to be committed to change, you have to change what you are committed too. No matter what addictions you are experiencing, it has to be something within yourself that “wants” the change and will be committed to just that. If you have people around you that you share special connections with, and they still choose to live and alternative life style that may affect you changing, it will be vital for you to decide how to move forward with these people. Be prepared to deal with a sense of resentment, anger, and even rage from people who feel as if they are being abandoned or scrutinized. It is not an easy task but addictions can only replace lost voids temporarily. It is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. It is life and it is those experiences which builds character in us all.



You can fix what you can’t see

Love comes in an invisible form that can often be misinterpreted when used for the wrong reasons. John Dare

We live in such a magical world with so many fascinations and wonders that are waiting to be discovered every single day. But some may think that magic only exist in the fairy tales or the digital world because that is what are normal senses tell us.Some of the greatest authors in the world such as C.S. Lewis and Stephen King learned how to tap into this magical imaginative being, and has created some of the best projects of our time. Have you ever experienced that deja-vu moment when your brain tells you “I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN”, or “I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND NOW HERE YOU ARE! Wallah, magic. Now if you where to take this same concept and apply it to everyday living, how would this help you determine the magic of creating your own life through your thoughts and habits?

Your soul is the inner being that you cannot physically see, which guides your physical self in everyday living. Your thoughts comes from how you feel within your physical self, which creates and determine your life’s purpose. Stop for a second and think about where you are at this very moment. Look around you and take in everything. The smell, the sounds around you, the room that you are in, and then the environment outside the room you are in. Is this where you imagined you would be? How did you arrive their? Do you feel that you are a product of the environment or are you their because you want to be there? If you are somewhere by default, now is the time to take control of your life. 

One of the most important things you can do for your health and success in life is to gain control over your emotions. Your emotions is a basic guide that tells you how well or not so well you are doing in life. How many successful people have you heard of in the media that is bitter and upset because they have millions of dollars and can help the world be a better place. There are cases out there, but not too many. These people have learned to positively use the invisible magic around them to get where they want to in life. Does money always guarantee happiness or success, absolutely not. Everyone has a different measurement scale of what success is, and once you are successful in managing healthy emotional habits, you are ahead of the game 100 percent. Here are some 5 tips to gaining control over your emotions in a healthy way:

1. Know what you want out of life- There are too many people who live life on autopilot. You HAVE to set goals and you HAVE to stick to them. Working towards tangible goals will shift your thought pattern from negative to positive right away.

2. Surround yourself with positive people- Good and bad attitudes have the magical ability to rub off on you. Have you ever tried to be positive in a room full of negative people. Unless your the therapist, it just wont work. The negative attitudes will eventually rub off. Find the person with the biggest smile and get to know them.

3. Become a life long learner- Have you ever been on a college campus and felt the positive energy that the students displayed. That is because learning is fundamental. Be willing to learn new things and to challenge yourself to strive harder than the day before.

4. Take time out for yourself- This is the most important tip of them all. You are the most important person you know. You have to honor and love yourself with everything you have. By yourself something nice, work-out for 30 minutes, read a great book, or spend time with family and friends are all great activities to treat yourself.

5. Find a mentor- There is always someone out there who can relate to you and your situation. Having someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of is a healthy way to stay optimistic and positive about the future. 

You CAN fix what you cant see, it just starts with believing!